Boating is a healthy pastime, right? You’re outdoors, breathing in fresh air, and–if you’re on my boat–eating your weight in processed junk food. I’m usually on a boat for one of two reasons, fishing or otherwise getting recreational. Fiddling around with cooking or food prep is a colossal waste of time. Rip open a bag, pop a top, chomp it down, and be done with it.
Here are the best scientifically proven food products to bring aboard.
PRINGLES: Is there a better boat food? The chips are protected in an ingenious tube so they don’t get smashed beyond edibility when crammed under the console. It keeps the chips from getting soggy and disgusting. If the inventor of the Pringle’s tube found it suitable to be buried in, it’s good enough for my boat.
GOGURTS: No need for bowls, spoons, or napkins to ingest breakfast. Fellow Boatermouth writer Lenny Rudow used to raid his kids’ lunch-food and bring stacks of them on offshore tuna trips to the canyons. [Lenny also invented the famed "boat sandwich," wherein you roll a cold cut in a piece of cheese.] Your hunger is satiated, rather healthily, in seconds.
HARD PRETZELS: The choice of Kevin Falvey, another boating writer, for mako shark trips. Or any trip. You can just throw a box in a locker at the beginning of the season and if they go stale, how can you tell?
BEEF JERKY: Would be the A-One top choice but for the inconsistency between brands and batches. Some come out just right, others worse than shoe leather. But if you get a quality bag of jerky, it hits the spot and fills the protein void left by the other snacks. It takes a long time to chew and can distract from the tedium of trolling.
DRIED MANGO SLICES: They have the veneer of being healthy; they’re derived from one of the three most awesome fresh fruits in existence. But when you read the bag on a lot of packaged mango slices, you’ll see they’re processed with incredible amounts of sugar. And, possibly, sulphur dioxide. Eat a bag and you’ll have boundless energy, I guess because it combines the magic of fruit with the sugar of Mountain Dew and the calories of a Big Mac.